I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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