I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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