you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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