Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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