eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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