then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
