I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
