He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
