his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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