normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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