call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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