quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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