somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was like giving head to a cactus.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
