is your mom at the bar?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The power of my boobs compel you
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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