I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
