I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Less talking, more tequila
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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