yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
