For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
