then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
