her vagine was all disorganized.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
