Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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