Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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