Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
