so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
