We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
