I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize