I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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