Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
