Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My feet surprised me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
