I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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