everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
