He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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