either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i already hear my dad disowning me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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