areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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