Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
