I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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