My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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