I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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