I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
