can u get pink eye on your cock?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
