waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
