Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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