I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
