Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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