and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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