i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
