sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
