just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
ok first of all what the fuck
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
