did you get engaged???
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
