So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
