my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize