I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
