Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
