Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
