Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
