Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize