Sponge bath it is.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
