I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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