My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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