yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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