We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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