I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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