are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
