My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
