I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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