Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
