margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
