can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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